I thought raising children was pretty challenging enough, "Now you're telling me I have to fight for my life? and raise my child." One of the hardest things I had to face was being a parent who's trying to get well. "In order for me to be a good mom I had to fight this other battle, but that battle was getting in the way of me being able to do the things I need to be a good mom.
Researchers estimated that 562,000 children are living with a parent who is in the early -- and most intense -- phases of cancer treatment. Cancer can be a very stressful experience for children in the household and often, the parent might not even know the extent of the strain that is put on the child. Past research has found that kids often don't speak up and say that they're struggling, trying not to overload or worry their parents. Even after loved ones go into remission, the fears about cancer can stay with a child. My son was only 2 at the time I got diagnosed, he still has questions. He is now 5 and asked me the other day if he has cancer-- that was really hard for me. I had to sit him down and explain how mommy is better now and reassure him that does not have cancer.
Though cancer is often thought of as a disease that strikes later in life, new research shows that 18 percent of newly diagnosed cancer patients are parents to one or more minor children. Of these patients, nearly a third of them are caring for children under the age of six. This means that 2.85 million children in the United States are living with a parent who is battling or has survived cancer.
Whether you are newly diagnosed, or facing a recurrance, parenting through your diagnosis can prove quite challenging. It is important to open up healthy lines of communication with your young children through your cancer experience. Furthermore it is important to seek a strong support system, whether it be through family, friends, support groups, etc. I highly recommend and encourage proactive preparation. As a single parent it was vital for me to put things in place before I actually started treatement and it made a big difference. I wanted to make sure my treatment would not disrupt my son's daily routine and keep his life as normal as possible. My family stepped up in a big way and took turns coming by to take care of my son so I could rest and focus on healing.
On days that I was too tired to take my son out to the park to play, we played games on the bed. He enjoyed being beside me pretending to cook or playing card games, etc. At two he matured very quickly and I took advantange of that independent stage where he wanted to do everything for himself. Often times too weak to stand and bathe him, I would sit beside the tub on the floor and give him instructions on how to soap himself up then let him have fun rinsing himself off with a cup of water. We made it into a little mommy and me time and he felt he was a big boy that could do it by himself... quite proud. My son was also a true outdoor kid and loved the beach and the pool, but the sun was not good for me during my radiaiton phase so we compromised and took lots of bubble baths. I thank God everyday that we got through it. The old saying is correct. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Adapted from CBS News.
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