25 Tips for Cancer Caregivers

Caring for a loved one with a serious disease can be both a deeply rewarding and stressful experience. Use the tips and information below to help you through the process.  

1. Give yourself and your loved one time to adjust to the diagnosis.
2. A positive attitude is beneficial for you and your loved one.
3. Giving care to a loved one with cancer requires patience, flexibility, courage and a good sense of humor.
4. Good communication is essential to learning how best to work with your loved one.
5. Plan special times together away from the routine of treatment, such as a special evening out for dinner, a movie or play, etc..
6. Talk about the future. Hope is very important.
7. Being a caregiver can reveal hidden strengths, and enrich your family life
8. As a caregiver, you can choose to take the primary caregiver role or, depending on the level of support from family and friends, divide it between two or more persons.
9. Being a caregiver can affect you emotionally, physically and financially. For guidance, speak with your Cancer Center Social Worker.
10. To better understand you're loved one's diagnosis, treatment and progress, be an active participant during clinic visits.  See more below...

Tips for controlling nausea during chemo...

1. Do not allow yourself to become excessively hungry.
2. Eat small amounts and eat more often.
3. Eat foods that are easy on the stomach.

Foods that may be better tolerated:
Saltine crackers
Clear liquids or ice chips
Broth-based soups
Yogurt or sherbert
Smoothies
Gelatin
Warm cereal such as cream of Wheat or Oatmeal
Fruits and vegetables

Foods to avoid:
Hot and spicy foods
Greasy foods, fried foods or food high in fat content
Foods with strong odors
Very sweet or rich foods, candy, cookies cakes and desserts

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Facing Your Own Mortality

Hearing the words "You have cancer," can suddenly move an abstract inevitability to a very real possible outcome in the blink of an eye.  For many women, such as myself, breast cancer is the first close brush with mortality.  Suddenly, one's sense of safety, security and optimism about life and the future is shaken. 

Uncertainty seems to dwell at the core of these feelings, and can persist for years to come.  Even when there is no recurrence, the fear persists, affecting us in odd ways long after treatment is over.  Many women live with the long lasting fear of breast cancer recurrence, the worry that awakens them in the middle of the night before a doctor's appointment, the misery of waiting for test results, fear of being diagnosed with metastatic disease, or when the friend she made during chemo dies of breast cancer.

When treatment ends, the sense of physical compromise that began with diagnosis can begin to resolve, at last.  Gradually, the nausea fades and the energy returns.  Hair begins to grow back and the surgical scars are beginning to fade.  Radiation burns are starting to heal. Doctors start to tell you that it's now time to focus on family and work and getting back to normal now.  If only it were that easy.  The truth is, many of us find ourselves profoundly changed by our diagnosis and struggling to come to terms with what has happened to us.

We still have questions that remain unanswered, and fears that keep us up at night.  Even after hair and fingernails grow back and reconstructive surgery has been completed, we may still be feeling emotionally fragile.  Our bodies our psyches are different than they were, and we need time, sometimes lots of time, to make sense of the changes and what they mean to us.

It is the treatments, not the disease that make you sick so naturally an end to treatment can feel like a big step down the road toward feeling well again.  Clearly, the end of treatment marks a transition not a closure. For many women, especially those with higher risks of recurrence, breast cancer remains an intimate and ongoing concern.  It confronts us in the mirror daily, affects how we feel in our bodies, appears in our dreams and ambushes us as we approach our follow up oncology visits especially before each PET scan. 

By far my strongest fear was, now that treatment was over, nothing stood between me and the threat of recurrence. With the end of treatment my family and friends found it to be a cause for celebration, while for me I had mixed feelings. 

When we are diagnosed we are suddenly faced with our own mortality, which we might not have given much thought to until then.  For  a while we are cocooned in a surreal world of doctors

Fear of recurrence in cancer survivors

Fear of recurrence is very common in cancer survivors. Though they may go years without any sign of disease, cancer survivors say the thought of recurrence is always with them. You might worry that every ache or pain is a sign of your cancer recurring. Eventually these fears will fade, though they may never go away completely.

Cope with your fear by being honest with yourself about your feelings. Try not to feel guilty about your feelings or ignore them in hopes that they'll go away. Ask your doctor about what you can do to reduce your chance of a cancer recurrence. Once you've done all you can to reduce that risk, acknowledge your fears. Take control of those fears and do what you can to influence your future health. Try to:

• Take care of your body. Focus on keeping yourself healthy. Eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables. Fit exercise into your day. Go easy at first, but try to increase the intensity and amount of exercise you get as you recover. Get enough sleep so that you wake feeling refreshed. These actions may help your body recover from cancer treatment and also help put your mind at ease by giving you a greater sense of control over your life.

• Go to all of your follow-up appointments. You may fear the worst when it's time for your next follow-up appointment. Don't let that stop you from going. Use the time with your doctor to ask questions about any signs or symptoms that worry you. Write down your concerns and discuss them at your next appointment. Ask about your risk of recurrence and what signs and symptoms to watch for. Knowing more may help you feel more in control.

• Be open about your fears. Express your concerns to your friends, family, other cancer survivors, and your doctor or a counselor. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of discussing your fears, try recording your thoughts in a journal.

• Keep busy. Get out of the house and find activities that will take your mind off your fears.

Most cancer survivors report that the fear of recurrence fades with time. But certain events can trigger your fears. The feelings might be especially strong before follow-up visits to your doctor or the anniversary of your cancer diagnosis