Talking to Your Children About Cancer

When diagnosed with cancer doctors, nurses, social workers, patient navigators, family and friends all work hard as part of your team, however, your child/children can also be a very important part of that team as well. Telling them may be hard but it is important and necessary.

Realize that they can recognize when something is wrong and they will go through their own range of emotions regarding your diagnosis. It is better to include them in your journey. Let them know it is ok to feel whatever they are feeling: sad, mad, scared, confused.

Be honest in answering their questions. Let them know about expected changes in their routines. Don't force information on them but answer questions as they come up in simple language that they can understand. Give them small age appropriate jobs so that they can feel involved.

For younger children, (under 10) my book "Mommy is Still Mommy: Cancer Can't Change That!" is an excellent resource tool. It is designed to be a catalyst for heartfelt conversations between a mother and her child/children.

Order your copy today at www.andreanugent.com, or through Barnes and Noble at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mommy-is-still-…/1105119430…, or Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Still-Cancer-C…/…/ref=sr_1_sc_1…

If you have not been impacted by cancer you can help impact a cancer patient's life by donating a copy to your local cancer treatment center or hospital.

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25 Tips for Cancer Caregivers

Caring for a loved one with a serious disease can be both a deeply rewarding and stressful experience. Use the tips and information below to help you through the process.  

1. Give yourself and your loved one time to adjust to the diagnosis.
2. A positive attitude is beneficial for you and your loved one.
3. Giving care to a loved one with cancer requires patience, flexibility, courage and a good sense of humor.
4. Good communication is essential to learning how best to work with your loved one.
5. Plan special times together away from the routine of treatment, such as a special evening out for dinner, a movie or play, etc..
6. Talk about the future. Hope is very important.
7. Being a caregiver can reveal hidden strengths, and enrich your family life
8. As a caregiver, you can choose to take the primary caregiver role or, depending on the level of support from family and friends, divide it between two or more persons.
9. Being a caregiver can affect you emotionally, physically and financially. For guidance, speak with your Cancer Center Social Worker.
10. To better understand you're loved one's diagnosis, treatment and progress, be an active participant during clinic visits.  See more below...

Tips for controlling nausea during chemo...

1. Do not allow yourself to become excessively hungry.
2. Eat small amounts and eat more often.
3. Eat foods that are easy on the stomach.

Foods that may be better tolerated:
Saltine crackers
Clear liquids or ice chips
Broth-based soups
Yogurt or sherbert
Smoothies
Gelatin
Warm cereal such as cream of Wheat or Oatmeal
Fruits and vegetables

Foods to avoid:
Hot and spicy foods
Greasy foods, fried foods or food high in fat content
Foods with strong odors
Very sweet or rich foods, candy, cookies cakes and desserts

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Facing Your Own Mortality

Hearing the words "You have cancer," can suddenly move an abstract inevitability to a very real possible outcome in the blink of an eye.  For many women, such as myself, breast cancer is the first close brush with mortality.  Suddenly, one's sense of safety, security and optimism about life and the future is shaken. 

Uncertainty seems to dwell at the core of these feelings, and can persist for years to come.  Even when there is no recurrence, the fear persists, affecting us in odd ways long after treatment is over.  Many women live with the long lasting fear of breast cancer recurrence, the worry that awakens them in the middle of the night before a doctor's appointment, the misery of waiting for test results, fear of being diagnosed with metastatic disease, or when the friend she made during chemo dies of breast cancer.

When treatment ends, the sense of physical compromise that began with diagnosis can begin to resolve, at last.  Gradually, the nausea fades and the energy returns.  Hair begins to grow back and the surgical scars are beginning to fade.  Radiation burns are starting to heal. Doctors start to tell you that it's now time to focus on family and work and getting back to normal now.  If only it were that easy.  The truth is, many of us find ourselves profoundly changed by our diagnosis and struggling to come to terms with what has happened to us.

We still have questions that remain unanswered, and fears that keep us up at night.  Even after hair and fingernails grow back and reconstructive surgery has been completed, we may still be feeling emotionally fragile.  Our bodies our psyches are different than they were, and we need time, sometimes lots of time, to make sense of the changes and what they mean to us.

It is the treatments, not the disease that make you sick so naturally an end to treatment can feel like a big step down the road toward feeling well again.  Clearly, the end of treatment marks a transition not a closure. For many women, especially those with higher risks of recurrence, breast cancer remains an intimate and ongoing concern.  It confronts us in the mirror daily, affects how we feel in our bodies, appears in our dreams and ambushes us as we approach our follow up oncology visits especially before each PET scan. 

By far my strongest fear was, now that treatment was over, nothing stood between me and the threat of recurrence. With the end of treatment my family and friends found it to be a cause for celebration, while for me I had mixed feelings. 

When we are diagnosed we are suddenly faced with our own mortality, which we might not have given much thought to until then.  For  a while we are cocooned in a surreal world of doctors

Managing Treatment Side Effects

Side effects, like treatment programs, vary from person to person. They can be unpleasant, but most often they are temporary, and most are treatable. Typical side effects for the most common cancer treatments include:

Surgery: During surgery, complications may include bleeding, organ damage and organ dysfunction. After surgery, side effects include pain and infection.

Radiation therapy: Fatigue, nausea and eating problems, mouth sores, localized hair loss in the area of radiation, skin irritation, and dryness.

Chemotherapy: Nausea and vomiting, hair and nail loss, fatigue, eating problems, mouth sores, infection, bleeding or easy bruising, low white blood cell count, and anemia (low red blood cell count).

Coping with Common Treatment Side Effects

• Fatigue
• Hair, Nail and Skin Issues
• Infections
• Lymphedema
• Mouth Sores
• Nausea and Vomiting, and Eating Problems
• Neuropathy
• Neutropenia
• Pain

As with all drug treatment, the risks must be weighed against the benefits. In most patients with cancer, the potentially toxic effects of chemotherapy are justified in order to get the cancer into remission. This is not always the case, and you should tell your doctor whether you’ve ever had any type of heart condition, including high blood pressure. You should also inform him/her about any radiation treatment to the chest area that you might have received in the past.

Fatigue

• To avoid fatigue, plan your days so you have time to rest, especially around treatment times. Save your energy for activities that are most important to you and ask for help with the rest.